Too emotional.

it was just 2 sticks of SKL.we ended up in a major fight.tempts me with another stick.

The things he say, can be so sharp.Point is, im not any other girl next door.If you'd know me well, i would/can commit suicide even if teacher sent me for detention classes.Yes, i am a highly emotional person. As a boyfriend, he should watch the things said.He should watch out for my sensitive emotions.

He told me i should always think before i said things.It seemed that,he doesnt trust me anymore.i told him , felt more relaxed after smoking. Very obvious to what my problems are,right? enrico wong.And apparently,calvin thinks im lying bout' something.Anyways, he totally takes this whole thing a huge issue.And he said " just because somethings small to you doesnt mean it is to everyone else"

What hurt me most was when,Calvin went ''just go to school and tell rico all about this lar.. hel have his glorious moment and his i told you so's" I am already willing to go through every sarcastic and insults hurled towards me.And this is what Calvin tells me.It's as if, he never appreciates the things i had ever ever done.

throughout every anniversaries,i was the one showering him with gifts.did he ever do anything?on our 6th month , he said he would take me out for dinner yesterday.WHAT HAPPENED? He got a whole junk load of his besties out to TropicanaCity and we went to eat at some shitified place when i vomited after dinner.Did i ever say anything?

Im so sad and emotional to think that my boyfriend is like this.I didnt wanna follow gorgor to Canada because i wanted to friggin spend my life with him here in Malaysia.DOES HE EVEN APPRECIATE ME?cant he just look at my positive side instead of going through the bad side of me.

can we mend this broken string?

Your true colours finally let out,finally potrayed,
You were my sunshine,my everything,my dearest one,
"You are not my true friend,''you finally said,
Gone are the happiness,friendship,love and fun.

A million pieces,my heart shattered all over the floor,
Where were the memories?Times when it was just us,
The effort of mending our broken strings,your call,
Not anymore,does this friendship mean the universe.

Betrayed,hurt and depresses,what's left,
On my road of existance,another huge boulder,
Nothing in my mind,nothing i desire,but death,
When what hurt the most,was something said from her.

Call it jealousy,call it hatred,it don't matter,
Our duty carried out,our love poured out to you,
Gone with the wind,but do you bother?
Face it! To you we are only a stupid fool.

-Stephanie Thong-

Take me home.

And i closed my eyes,swallowed into darkness,
Reluctant to take another step,venturing into complications,
Desperate for such times,when it was just the two of us,
When the smooth sailing road of life,made a huge turn.

Life,a meaningless piece of paper,disposed anytime soon,
Bring me home,somewhere I really belong dear God,
Like a little caterpillar,resting in its comfortable cocoon,
Instead of this awful existance,this dull life,left to rot.

When would love and patience come into place?
Would it be a time,when i stand up,when i see what i see?
Another hardship,another terrible storm,i was left to face,
No more confidence,self esteem and strength left in me.

No longer I can go on,No longer I would move on,
Numb to the excruciating pain,gone through everyday,
Used to being fed by a silver spoon,since born,
"Take me home,Lord where i really belong,''I say.

-StephanieThong-

Every man's life is a fairy tale written by God's fingers

Currently killing time for accounts tuition starts around 6.15p.m. And,it's now 5.35p.m. Attempting to skip dinner.Somehow,this reminds me of a private blog and i am keeping it this way.I mean,i never told a single soul about this new blog.Well,maybe i may make not so close human beings link me,for a certain reason.

I find myself falling into depression as,problem after problems occur.i mean,give me a break.I am dying for a friend who can listen to me and support me the whole way through everything.My one and only candidate ; Jesus Christ.He's the only person who never blames me when, i stop 'hanging out' with him.Give an example; I stop talking to X.X doesnt like it, and we end up in a problematic friendship.

It's the religion thing now.Close your ears.I am a Christian but,not so active back at church unlike the last time.People didnt like that idea.Did Jesus say anything?Most nut heads would be like he aint human,he cant talk and tell you things.But,if Satan can influence our lives, Jesus himself can too.Deep down inside,i sense the disappointment.I know He is waiting and waiting for the right time to come when,i myself will be a living testimony of a Christan Life.

Throughout the hardly-go-to-church season, i promise you i never once back slided.That is one awesome proof of how real i think of God as.He hears me out when i need a shoulder to lean on.He solves my problems.He was my punching bag.How can i let go off someone so awesome and wonderful?

I hardly go to church but,it's the relationship between Him and I that matters so much.I dont have to lift up my hands in a crowded area to show how Holy i actually am.Like i said,the most valuable and essential thing is a relationship led with God.

It's six already.Better get going.
xoxo.

Life is just one damned thing after another.

Another sea of conflicts coming up,sadly.Problems always get a hold of me,not wanting to let me go.Today,school was so tough on me.Finally i realized that,a perfect friendship never occur in my life.I stayed very strong but end up with a terrible breakdown back at home.I called Calvin apologising profusely because i did not stand up for him,today.

I cant believe it.Picture a group of "your besties" crowding together,insulting and talking bad about the person you love most.Be it your,wife,girlfriend,parents or even a sibling.It was so tough trying to tear or EXPLODE.I respected them,but did they respect me?I respected them therefore i was reluctant to start a commotion.

I choose the pathway to live life with him.Even if anything backfires,i take the fall.Maybe it was a joke to them,but it is absolutely unacceptable when they expect me to absorb everydamnthing they say.He has feelings,He is not a dog.Where's the respect given to a human being.No one is perfect except the HOLY ONE ABOVE.Condemn him when you find out how imperfect yourselves are.

I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.

Their thoughts will never influence who you are to me,dear.

Life is just a chance to grow a soul.

hello humankind:) welcome to http://noodlesandstrudles.blogspot.com/ Actually,i have this other blog.but,hmm.im not saying anything.The main reason this blog had been made is because, i can construct posts regarding to my own perspectives and point of views.Wether it's a personal problem or,something we all face,im going to talk about it.The other blog is more to,the life of a teenager which consists of weird vocabularies and unfortunately,vulgarity.Older people would be slightly reluctant to go through these,i assume.

Let's kickstart this post with the how was school question.Okay,unfortunately it is awarded worst school day ever.Cried twice there though.Special thanks to the novel Ps I Love You written by Cecelia Ahern.A very touching story,i must say.oh the desire of marrying a man like Gerry.I seriously have to get back to reality.The second crying "season" which i doubt id be spilling the beans had got to do with a bestfriend and a boyfriend.sorry,nothing more than that.You dontknow when my mother may come budging in my cyberlife.understand the danger i may have to face?

My examination results are plain depressing.I failed more than 4 subjects.Will hang myself in a bit.Wonder how people actually score without studying that much when,i spent most of my time with a revision book a month or so before first term.The wonders of human beings.

Mother is making a lot of noise.Apparently,she never leaves her daughter alone.Heck,the annoyance i have to endure back here.No one understands.Sadly,id have to love and respect her for it falls down into a term.she is my mother.My Moral assignment can never be done by this week if,she starts blabbering about how often i am using the computer.For Christ sake,i am doing a damn assignment.So doesn's common sense tell you,i would have to use the computer as often as i can?Someone,teach her to be slightly understanding.

xoxo.